Auckland needs more places like Moochowchow
— restaurants that provide buzzy, sexy, tasty nights out, with staff who know
what they’re doing. It came runner- up Best Asian in the Metro Audi Restaurant
of the Year awards last month and its bar/waiting area is constantly heaving
with people desperate to spend their money. Not that it doesn’t have a little
room to improve.
Don’t worry, I get it. It’s a beautiful
room, filled with beautiful people. Handsome, charming men work the bar, pace
the floor and answer your questions about the menu with surprising knowledge
and flair. “I should give these pretty boys more credit,” you say to yourself
as one of them explains why the syrah really will work with your pork. Then you
catch your girlfriend staring at him dreamily and think, “Fuck ’em, they don’t
need my charity.”
The menu tastes good to read. Caramelised
pork hock with chilli vinegar, suckling pig spring roll with coconut chilli
jam, freshly shucked oyster with lemongrass, lime, pork and ginger caramel. I’d
start with one of those oysters. They’re four bucks a pop, so you wouldn’t want
to order them by the dozen, but what a perfect first mouthful for a feast: salt
from meat and sea, fighting with spicy, sweet and sour for your attention.
There’s not quite enough of that taste
tension in the rest of the food, for me. That pork hock is gelatinous, melting,
caramel — but could it be improved with a fiery heat or mouth-puckering sour to
pull against it? I think so. And what about that chilli vinegar — to my palate,
it’s not quite bold enough. When I eat Thai, I’m always hoping my tastebuds
will be smashed, and that didn’t really happen here. Mind you, I am aware not
everyone feels like this.
That’s one thing. The other is a problem
with consistency of seasoning. I had a stir-fried pork that was so salty I
couldn’t eat it — but they sent out a replacement, and it tasted great. Faith
was restored. A choko salad tasted so good on our first visit that we ordered
it again next time — but it needed emergency fish sauce to save it.
Some of the dishes are great. Those porky
spring rolls — yum! I could eat about a hundred of them. They’re available from
the bar menu while you’re waiting, which reduces the pain if you’ve forgotten
to book. The beef short rib is a wonderful thing, too — they can cook a piece
of meat, these kids. The goat mussaman curry is another star — those warm, deep
spices offer perfect comfort on a wintry Auckland night.
It’s protein pornography throughout: big
hunks of chicken, fish, pig, cow. And to finish, the lychee granita offers
blissful, icy relief from the imminent meat sweats.
The final thing to say is that the room is
very noisy, and your neighbours are close — often sharing a table with you. But
look, you’re not over the hill just yet, are you? You can handle a bit of
rowdiness, right? Learn to use the noise to your advantage. Like when, oh I
don’t know, the mother of your infant child asks you to explain to her why
exactly they call it suckling pig? Just point to the loudmouths next to you,
make a face like “conversation is hopeless in here” and pass her another spring
roll before she clicks.
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